Conversations with the Father

Some people don't understand when people say they have "relationships with God." How can you have a relationship with someone you can't see or talk to? 

And it's true, how does one build a relationship with someone when you can't see them? But this is where faith kicks in. It's also a general rule I guess, that to build a relationship with someone is to talk. To converse and get to know each other. Well I think you first have to rule out the idea that God isn't talking to you. He is. You're just not listening.

Personally, (and i'm not saying this will be the same for everyone) God speaks to me as a constant voice in my head. I identify it by checking if it's according to the Bible, and what that voice says isn't always easy, but is always right. I remember before that it was just a plain voice. And as I gradually tuned my heart and mind to that voice, it started to sound more personal. That voice had become very close to me, and ever present. His voice had become animated, and more loving as the days go by.

 There are many ways and forms of how God talks to me, (usually in the shower hah.) One of the ways is during devotion. I was having my quiet time today, and I was reading Psalm 103. And He would squeeze in little comments here and there as I read. Here's a sweet little conversation I had with the Father:



Psalm 103

Bless the LORD oh my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!

Salamat, Anak.

Bless the LORD oh my soul,
and forget not all his benefits.

I feel Him smile at me.

who forgives you all you iniquity,

Oh, pinatawad na kita. Alam mo yun, di ba?

who heals your diseases,

Hindi mo na kailangan magkasakit. Pinagaling na kita eh.

who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.

Bagay na bagay sa'yo yun, Anak.

who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.

The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.

Wag ka mag alala, nandito ako.

He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

Always, in love.

He will not always chide,
nor will He keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.

You are blameless.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward
those who fear him.

Mas grabe pa diyan.

as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us

That's the best that the english language could explain. But it's more than that.

As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

No better comparison.

For He knows our frame.

I know you.

He remembers that we are dust.

I made you.

As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the LORD is from
everlasting to everlasting on those
who fear Him.

Sa'kin, may forever. 

And His righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.

The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and His kingdom rules over all.

Bless the LORD, O you His angels,
you mighty ones who do His word,
obeying the voice of his word!

Bless the LORD all His hosts!
His ministers, who do His will!

Bless the LORD, all his works,
in all the places of his dominion.

Bless the LORD, O my soul!

Salamat, Anak.


- END -



There are a few laughs and expressions that are attached to some of those words. I can't fully explain how His voice sounds to me, and how He presents himself to me. I just know that He's very present and is constantly talking to me. And I'm sad to say that I don't always listen. But even when I don't, He is still constantly talking to me telling me what I need to hear at that very time and moment. At times His words are hard to hear because we tend to avoid the truth. But at times His words are the only comfort you need to end a world of pain.

A couple of things you need to consider when you feel that you can't fully hear His voice:

Really take the time to listen. Shut everything off, lock the room, and push every other thought away. In Matt 6:6 it says:

But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

You really need the room to yourself at times. Focus on Him. Sometimes you might think its just you talking to yourself. But really listen to what that voice is saying, see if it is according to the Word. Always, always check if it's according to the Bible. Thinking of something, and assuming it's God's voice is something that DOES happen. So be conscious of that. Especially if there is a decision that the voice you heard is accountable for. Take the time and the prayer to really have confirmation on what that voice said. And later on you'll easily know and will be able to define His voice among the ocean of voices in your head. Get to know the Father, you just need to heed His words.


Have a conversation with the Father today.
xx Seed

The Truth About Romance

During 2014, I have learned a generous amount of truths. A couple of which are:

Being infatuated, felt amazing.
Being in love, felt amazing.
Being in love with the right person, felt amazing.
Being in love with the right person at the wrong time, not so amazing.

Romance is dead -- is what I thought when I got my heart broken. The statement Ariana Grande promptly sang, 'I've cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them' was probably an understatement. I cried for months. I cried in the shower, on my bed, in a cab, watching sappy movies, watching action movies, walking to the fridge. I just cried. I needed to let out all of the crap I felt within me. And I was bitter. I was bitter like a slow drip cold brew from your local artisanal coffee shop where all your good little hipsters take their double tapped photos. No sugar, of course. I dwelled in the feeling. I savoured it. I denied it and walked around like a champ. For a time, I lived off of it. Yeah, it was bad.

I used to love Rom-coms. I was the girl who thought romance was probably one of the best things God gave us. I would dream of travelling the world, meeting a sharp young man and go off traveling the world together. Then we'd get married and have a family. Picket fences? Uh, yes. Lawns filled with toys of our children and a yellow slide? Definitely. Oh and don't forget the dogs. We've got big ones and an exception of one tiny french bulldog. Crack open my heart and you'd see this scenario, and the perfectness of it all just me and my family serving God and living.

But this bitterness seeped deep down into my heart and created murky waters that drowned the idea and swallowed it up. And I somehow got it in my mind to think: Hah. Romance is not real. I would stare at couples, watch movies, listen to music and start despising what I saw and heard. I thought it was all stupid. I would generally just hate the idea of romance. And it gets worse.

I was praying one day, and I said "God, how can I love someone, if i'm supposed to be consumed and be so in love with You? Parang I can't handle both. I can only handle being consumed by one thing and I think I'd rather it be You." I was crying buckets. Because I was trying to contemplate how to balance things out. Because I wanted to love someone without compromising my love for God. I was throwing in the towel for my dream. I cried myself to sleep that night.

God woke me up the next morning with the sweetest whisper. "You can, because I first loved you." Here come the tears. I bawled my eyes out. I was in shock. I knew that verse from the bottom of my heart. 1 John 4:19. It was right under my nose.  But bitterness blinded me from what I already knew. I could only give something that I had. And God gave it to me. God gave me love. And He gave me so much love that I am more than blessed to give it back not only to Him but to others too.

But love is not romance. Nope ladies. Do not be confused by the two. Romance is the flowery, Kilig, big gesture etc. etc. that can be the product of love. Love is the choice that can produce romance. I still had that problem. I still thought, I can love.. Sure.. But I can't be romantic about it. It all seems so stupid, Lord. Is what I said.

I remember reading Song of Solomon for the first time. I thought, "Lord? Parang... di yata pang bata to? It seems very... intimate... And... kind of weird to be in the Bible, don't you think?" And hey, this was really what I thought. I just thought this book is SO out of place, what in the world is it doing in the Bible? I thought, maybe Solomon was just emotional or PMS'ing or something. And I guess the world has tainted the idea of intimacy being something sexual too. I'm just being honest here. But I knew God didn't just put that in by mistake. There was something about this book.

My Mom preached a long time ago about How God felt towards us. She once asked God how He felt about us, His children. Now, if you knew my mom, she loved being married to my father. And I remember her saying that the feeling of kilig, security, passion, comfort, and assurance that she got from my father. All of the things that was produced by Love was how God felt towards us too. He loves us with an intimate Love, a love that you can only get a glimpse of within a marriage. That's how He feels towards us. And recently God lead my Mom to preach about the Song of Solomon to the church that answered my question: Is romance dead?

And it was an eye opener. If you read Song of Solomon there are 3 basic characters. You have the a guy, a bride, and the daughters of Jerusalem. And say, that God was the guy, you were the bride, and the daughters of Jerusalem was the world. Now try reading it again. In this book, God shows an intimate kind of love with you, His beloved. He finds you perfect, and beautiful. Now all this is very Romantic. I guess what God was trying to tell me was... Romance is not dead. The proper, and Godly Romance is not dead. I was just looking in the wrong place. I don't know if I'm explaining any of this properly because the truth of this is so real and alive in me. To me, romance is not defined by one single lover or crushes or a feeling anymore.

We have been looking at romance and intimacy in an altered way where it is between a man and a woman only. It can be with God too. And I know I'm starting to sound like one of those girls who say "Jesus is my boyfriend" which I personally find weird (and yes I did say that when I was 13, don't judge.) But look at what the world has brainwashed us into thinking? Romance isn't only for you and for that guy you like. Romance can be with God produced by Agape love. Intimacy can be with God produced by Agape love. Assurance, and Kilig, and comfort, all that Romance can behold can be with God, produced by Agape love.

Even the dictionary doesn't limit Romance to just a man and a woman.

ro·mance

rōˈmans,ˈrōˌmans/

noun

1. 1.

   a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.

We can feel excited by the mystery and wonder of God. Of His love for us. Wondering what He has in store for us. That being said,

Truths I have learned this past year:

Being infatuated, felt amazing.
Being in love, felt amazing.
Being in love with God, is amazing.
Knowing that God is Romantically and Intimately in love with you, feels spectacular.

Now, doesn't that make you feel incredibly loved?

I am ending this year with a realization that God is a God of Love. And He loves you to be able to Love. You are on this earth to Love. It's one big Love story from the beginning. So this 2015, I challenge you to Love. Love God, Love man, Love your dog, Love your neighbours, Love the people around you, Love life, Love, just Love. Redefine romance. Just because you don't have a man in your life, doesn't mean you can't have Romance. And Romance is in the air, and it's coming from God. Romance with boys, can wait.


Happy New Year xx
Seed

COMME DES WRATHDOWN *

Chill out. 

"So then, my beloved bretheren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God."

James 1:19-20 

I was having my quiet time earlier today, and this verse just spoke out to me because I've been dealing with getting annoyed too quickly, and it's slowly inching it's way to wrath. I don't want that kind of negativity in my life, and the emotional entanglements and stress that it comes with. 

Anyway, when I was reading it I thought of creating something that relates to the verse and that would catch people's attention. This really famous brand called "COMME des F**KDOWN" came to mind. And this brand is really big in the fashion industry, also on tumblr it's got millions of photos. Basically, it already had the market. All I had to do was... To alter the message and make it Biblical. Changed the F bomb to wrath and I added the scripture on the bottom. 

I have no means to get sued for copyright infringement, but if this gets the Word out... I guess it's worth it. I'm not gonna print it on tee-shirts or anything... I'm merely using their market to spread the gospel. Heh. I mean because of the allure of it being "in" or "hip" even I want their beanies and their shirts and all that. But I would never wear it because of the foul language, yet I still like the design. It's clean. It's simple. And it's straight to the point. 

It's very risky because people will associate it with the foul language. But I hope they overlook that and try to understand the irony of it. That it's something beautiful out of something that used to be foul.

I design to please God, and not man.

And if my design glorifies God, well, that was the idea.

So, chill out.

✝

     "For God alone my soul waits in silence." Psalm 62:1


      Just a little update: I just came back from our family trip to Pico De Loro. Up there is a little peek of how beautiful it is there. Also I have a dump-truck full of pictures to edit, and I need to finish two storyboards by tomorrow morning. So fun.

Living by Faith

So I got this mind blowing revelation in church yesterday. The Bible says for us to always live by faith 24/7. But what does it really mean? I honestly didn't know. In Habakkuk 2:4 it says "...the just shall live by faith." How can I live by faith all the time in this world with such a worldly system? How do I even know I'm living by faith anyway? These are a few questions that have been boggling my mind for YEARS. 


I basically grew up with the church. And I can honestly say I'm only truly growing up spiritually at this stage of my life. I have God, family, and an amazing group of friends to thank for that. I am so blessed to be around such spiritually helpful and mature christians. And up until this Sunday did I only get the answer to my questions. "How do I live by faith 24/7?"

Funny story, the Pastor who was preaching also was asking the same thing to God for years now. And as she grew spiritually and through the years of preaching, she finally got it. Living by faith is filtering everything else out through the Word of God and rejecting anything that doesn't go with the Word of God. And it all made sense to me.

Honestly, I'm not there yet. I'm still being perfected by God. And I admit, my filter has a few holes once in a while. But now that I have this standard, this revelation, as to how I can live by faith... It's like I have a blueprint, or a map to a maze that I have been walking in for years. I was in the dark, and that revelation turned on the light. And now that I can see the truth, I will definitely try harder to live by faith. I have a guideline now.

There are such worldly things out there, and it will be hard sometimes to filter them out, but like my pastor said, "You see it, you hear it, don't do it, don't say it."


Let's just say this "filter" is a Banig. A Banig is a woven mat for sleeping or sitting used here in the Philippines. In this worldly system, you have to rise above by living by faith. Now think of your faith as your Banig. If your Banig is loose, it can break easily. To tighten up your the intricate weaving of your Banig, you have to keep "hearing and hearing by the word of God" (Rom 10:17) Imagine you're on a flying Banig above the worldly system, you'd want that Banig to be tight, wouldn't you? And with that strong Banig underneath you, you would be safe, and God can show you the world... Shining, shimmering and splendid, as He sees it through His word.

I saw that image on tumblr. It's a screen cap from the movie Pi.

Let's re-phrase that in relation to walking by faith:

"When your mind becomes aligned with the word of God, you will filter everything else out and find faith everywhere."

And just like that, living by faith is like the easiest thing to do.

x

Mint!

I haven't told you guys this, but I'm finally going to school!!!

I'm going to Mint, short for Meridian International. It's a Business, Arts, & Technology College.

They were on the news one day and my Mum looked them up, turns out they had an online test and I took it. The next day, they e-mailed me saying I passed the test. Its insane! I'm sooo happy!!

I looked through their site probably a thousand times, soaking it all in. It wasn't until I went to the school itself that I finally believed it. It was then that I applied for a scholarship. I would've given them my credentials if I had them, but since I was home schooled it was a little complicated. So I gave them my art. 

I showed them my magazine articles, and my cover pages. They were very impressed with my work, and they said that it was my edge. My selling point. And that they'd fight for me infront of the board. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside. And a few weeks ago, I got the call and they said they granted my scholarship application. I'm so stoked! (yii naks scholar)

The facilities were amazing, its so brilliant, and bright, and modern. And I love the fact that the classrooms are all well lit by huge clear windows. I'm in awe, and inspired. And just can't wait to go.

I'm taking New Media Arts, if you're wondering. Its basically a mix of Photography, 3D Animation, Digital Art, Digital Entertainment, Web design etc. 

And to top this all off: Each student gets a standard issue iPad 2.

Droooling yet? heh.

I'm just so thankful to God for giving me this opportunity. I basically skimmed through that test all panicked and scared and yet I passed. I believe this is His will for me and I'm willingly choosing this path. And when I got the call for the scholarship, right before the call I was so down and crying and just really sad (don't ask), and just praying I'd get that scholarship soon, I got the call and my tears of sadness turned into tears of joy. I was so ecstatic and God just gives the best "its okay" hugs ever. Its just such an answered prayer, and in a matter of minutes!

Now all I have to do is enroll and school starts November. I'm so excited!!!

Photos all taken from http://mintcollege.com